I always find the Lord's decision to create Eve very interesting. Adam was in the garden before the fall, walking in perfect relationship with God, and yet The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him." - Genesis 2:18
I would think that a relationship with God alone is enough – yet the Lord added human relationship into the mix. Then He goes further to give the first commandment: And God blessed them. And God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it ..." - Genesis 1:28 More human relationships!
I stumbled upon this verse a few days ago and was so touched by God's value for family:
Then He added, “How skillful you’ve become in rejecting God’s law in order to maintain your man-made set of rules. For example, Moses taught us:
‘Honor your father and your mother,’ and, ‘Whoever insults or mistreats his father or mother must be put to death.’
“But your made-up rules allow a person to say to his parents, ‘I’ve decided to take the support you were counting on from me and make it my holy offering to God, and that will be your blessing instead.’ How convenient! The rules you teach exempt him from providing for his aged parents. - Mark 7:9-11 TPT
Throughout scripture, we see how the Lord values family. He continuously points out that our relationship with Him is like that between a father and a son (Psalm 103:3, 1 John 3:1, Matthew 6:6 & more), a bride & bridegroom (Isaiah 62:5, Matthew 9:14-15 & more), and siblings (Matthew 12:46-50 & Hebrews 2:11).
We were created in the image of God, in His likeness. Then God said, "Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness..." – Genesis 1:26 NIV . In our essence we are like Him.
Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. – 1 John 4:7-8 ESV
This is our original design: to love and be loved. The minute we function outside of that, it is like using a candle to paint a wall – something will get damaged.
We all have a desire to be loved – but this desire isn't always fulfilled through our human relationships. I think it is safe to say that through only our family relationships, we will never fully be fulfilled. People are not perfect – but God is, and sometimes we expect from people what we can only expect from God Himself. Sometimes we expect the bare minimum but get disappointed time and time again – which causes offense and pain.
I was designed for love. But not only designed for love, but to love.
Here are three things that we can keep in mind to guard our hearts and strengthen our relationships:
1. Hurt, hurts – This is something that helped me enormously in having compassion for the individuals who wronged me instead of allowing offense to dictate my life. Often times we hurt each other when we still have unresolved pain in our hearts which need God's healing. It is very seldom anybody's intention to outright harm one of their loved ones. So vent towards God, pray for the individual who hurt you and show love to that person with the love you received from God.
Who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. – 2 Corinthians 1:4
2. There is more to it than what meets the eye. Wage your war in prayer, not in the living room. Remember, it is more of a spiritual battle than a physical one.
For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. – Ephesians 6:12
3. No person is powerful enough to reach inside of me and choose which emotion – and even more so – which reaction I am going to have. When we choose to respond, rather than react, we can pull the rug from under the enemy's feet and nullify his mission to destroy another relationship. Click here for a practical demonstration video.
Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. – Proverbs 4:23
The bottom line is: I may have been hurt and disappointed by things that happened through family relationships in the past, but I now have the opportunity to change the legacy of my family to come.
I don't want to be the hurting person who hurts others – I want to be the game-changer in the way we do family! I want to model family for the rest of the world and enjoy what God had in mind when He said that it is not good for man to be alone - but better to be surrounded by loved ones.